Sorrow's native son

the ranting arab

2006-06-17T00:11:00.000+08:00

haiz...how sudden things end...just like how it started...aint that bad...cudve been worse..and i think i had it easy...well...life goes on...in a sad and pathetic kind of way...I HOPE THERES A BIG FUCKING REASON FOR ALL DIS!! guess im not over it yet HAH..

as for sch...i think the project is goin well...main functions pretty much done...just need to cover some lobangs..dr.yin is gonna check on it...i think is gonna be fucked up lah...with the division of work amongst the group...partly my fault also lah as the leader...brenner wasnt moving...so i took over his work...not that i mind really...but i'll have to explain to him dis n dat since he's pretty much clueless abt our project progress since he did nothing...bahal nye budak...malas aku nk explain...dah tk tau bukan nk tanya...tanya benda tk penting boleh...oh fuck...forgot to finish story board...mati lah if dr.yin comin on monday...and if he asks brenner questions abt the website and he doesnt noe...hai...mati lah...

hai...take me out...weekend is gonna suck with all dis crap i dont want to think abt

trials and tribulations

2006-03-23T18:44:00.000+08:00

so great is the sea, so small your boat...
but you won't know,
until u row...

KOTT

2006-03-16T20:47:00.000+08:00

ku kerja dia kedai kopi jual air...enuff said

the first, the magical

2006-03-08T22:36:00.000+08:00

finally...a day well spent in 19yrs... ;)

FUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

wtf,htf i keep on screwing the simplest of things up just when things are getting better...

qwerty

2006-03-03T15:24:00.000+08:00

hard to find my way if i don't know where i am....so tell me, where do i stand?

this has got to stop

2006-02-27T23:30:00.000+08:00

a chain-smoking,lighter-stealing toyol is on the loose in this house and has got everybody on edge.Noone you can trust.One min some borrows your lighter...you dont expect to get it back...but u did....then the next morn...lighter is gone...thinking of ambushing the fucktard...i'll place a lighter clearly on a table...and then...when someone picks it up...it'll reveal a note saying "AHA!"....u must be wondering...wats the point...i am too...but this has to fucking stop...A take B's lighter...B takes C's lighter...it never ends....

asdf

2006-02-25T14:42:00.000+08:00

need a job...to make me feel less pathetic than i alredy am

ooouuuweeee

2006-02-20T19:46:00.000+08:00

JAVA FINISH!!

just checked at WebCT...the module is gone! wooohoooo...that means i pass! hopefully...AND ITS CUZ OF THESE PPL! See below

ME,ABIDDINNN,LENG SAN AND NINA! haha! motivated us to keep on fighting

screwed!

2006-02-19T23:29:00.000+08:00

really didnt study much for innk.....tmr's gonna suck...a "fuck u" aura is gonna surround me...

oh n fuck Astrology.com Daily Horoscope...useless piece of crap

bro bought me hugo boss perfume...its been awhile since he bought sumtin for me...ever since that bitch came to his life....ok thats selfish la but....really lah...working as a steward...rarely home...n when he gets home...off he goes to KL the same day to be with her...i guess thats ok since she got him another job on the side...i think...thats wat i saw on his biz card...his position sounds impt...have to get used to it....i noe its gonna happen sooner or later...but overall...he's the best bro...used to treat me each time he comes home from work...catch a movie...eat at the jap restraunt that used to be at TM...play pool...buy me stuffs when he goes overseas...i remembered in pri sch...we went to town...i think that was my first time there...anyway...we walking ard...as we were walking past some store...i saw a reebok watch that i really2 liked and somehow i was like very sad...cuz i dont have it -_-...n my bro noticed and ask me ah wats bothering me...i just said that it was nothin...and i think he noticed me looking at the watch and asked me if i wanted it....n well....i cried...he brought me back to the store n ask me which one....n even when i said nvm...he still insisted...n it made me cry again...haha...just very touched that he'd do that for me....i pointed 2 the watch...but he ask me to take the bigger one instead which was more ex...but i insisted on the smaller one...then in those days...he wud come home from work n ask me to use body as drawing board...i dunno for wat ah...mayb its therapheutical* or sumtin to him la...so i will draw watever crap until he falls asleep.....im just glad to have a brother like that...some1 who bothered to spend time with his brother when he cud be hanging out with his friends......well it just popped to my head how much i miss him which triggered this long post...hes just really a super bro...really...shudve seen him at my sis's wedding..anything goes wrong n hes there...

...

2006-02-17T01:41:00.000+08:00

just die n get out of my head

S H I T !

2006-02-05T20:28:00.000+08:00

went to escape theme park with my sec sch frens to make use of the free ticket we got from our last visit...bad day to visit...downtown east was full of indians having some sort of family day thingy...and they all seem to have a free ticket to escape...so yeah...our plan to own the go kart area from morning onwards didnt turn out as planned...waited for almost an hr each time to play it...just played it twice n we all left...

sometin terrible happened when i was playing the go kart...my bro's $400++ ring(given to him by his ex and he doesnt use it anymore...yeah it makes me feel better saying that...i noe...i shudnt wear stuff like that...but fuck u...i love it) slipped and dropped somewhere in the kart! it was within sight at first and i tried to pick it up but i was moving kinda fast so i figured i'd pick it up when we stop...which is like 5m away...sooo...the car stopped...and to my horror(creative writing)...its gone! asked the girl werking there to try n look..she cant find it...so yeah...pretty fucked up...lets just hope my bro doesnt mention abt the ring..n u noe...

we left escape...cant be bothered to wait to play all the rides...it was still abt 1pm...so we went bowling...1 game...still bored at ard 2+...took 1hr to decide wat to do next...just decided to lepak at the beach...got some snacks...and a frisbee...which ends up to be uber useless with the strong winds...had alot of fun there...unexpectedly...did various matrix scenes at the beach...almost 10 takes...haha..just alot of nonsense with the sand...being with them is diffrent frm the usuals...u can do with them wat others wont..that kinda thing..u get the idea..

the main highlight is I LOST THE FUCKIN RING! DAMMIT! it was a fuckin tiff & co ring...oh and i almost went to shave my head this morn...but the barber was closed...

o_o

2006-01-31T00:39:00.000+08:00

listened to madonna's - hung up for ard 10hrs or so today...addicted...k...hmm...bye

thank u

2006-01-28T01:46:00.000+08:00

for those who did try to make it a gd bday...the generous offers of cigs...lyaa just for entertaining me during my PCless hrs...mcm menang grammy....lastly thank the scriptwriters of this stupid sad life...eugene told me to kill myself after seeing me alot of times...at the resvr alone sleeping...even on my bday........thx eh...i think cigs will do

fi

2006-01-28T01:26:00.000+08:00

quite a horrible way to spend a birthday....reached home at 4! after sum partying...thats 4pm btw...-_- nth to do....bored my balls off...PC spoilt...great timing...so decided to sleep...woke up ard 8....then had 1 of the longest nights of ma life...toss n turn to try n get back to sleep...that was ard 11+....managed to get to sleep only at 1+...

the next day was pretty much the same...life w/o pc is tuff...got thru that day watching dvds...n smsing instead of msning...

today....much better day...sleepy as hell in sch....found a cap...which i left it in my frens bike box thingy...tompang me buy cigs...go pray...back to sch...follow him print smth...go TM to waste a lil more time before playing soccer...back at sch...still had time to spare...went to the lib to use the pc since im pcless at home now...6pm...soccer till 9...went to watch a movie...back home at 12+...and the PC is fixed...but all my pics are gone :( pics of frens n all lah...the only pics i have of em...unlike most ppl who like compile all the pics thruout their life...i wasnt smart enuff to do that..i guess i can still ask ppl to resend..butt ache frm soccer n movie...

tmr shud be a gd day...having a belated bday family reunion dinner...bro n sis gonna be there....they're rarely at home nowadays...miss em...gonna watch a movie with em too...prolly that jim carey movie....luckily for me...i can always count on family to make things special...for anything...sis was there to try n get help for my fucking java project.luv yall

wth la

2006-01-25T10:29:00.000+08:00

great start to bday...almost slipped 2 times...late again for IA...got told i will prolly be debarred...yayness! __

ugh...

2006-01-23T18:34:00.000+08:00

theres one episode on Becker when he said..."just because you're having a good day doesn't mean u can take it out on me"...go figure...

got home and mom said that after maghrib...my dad and 5 of his friends will be coming over to get urut by some uhh...uruteer lah...and she said "bukan urot mcm biasa...lain mcm nye urot"...ugh...just the sound of that makes u...ugh...u noe...i did ask her if they're gonna get naked or sumtin...thank god she said noe...lol...wth lah...anyway...looks like im gonna be trapped in my room for quite awhile...zzz

MSLD

2006-01-21T19:28:00.000+08:00

just really wanna go back in time...happier times...a time when i dun give a shit abt these things...things dun really change...just feelings...just mine...but i dont want it to change but i was helplessly changing...no matter how i try n try to be "normal" again..k dis is lame...i shud giv up trying to be poetic n shit...heh...my point is...just...change me back to what i was...

theres a difference between kawan and sahabat

2006-01-18T00:44:00.000+08:00

in need of SIP group...will cooperate...i'll be ur dog....

'o' levels:17
PSLE:206

M.S.L.D

2006-01-16T01:10:00.000+08:00

just tell me upfront la pls n i'll stop

M.S.L.D

2006-01-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

who would've imagined they i dont noe wat to buy when i got lots of...err...resources...my own "savings"...both of sis offer to buy me anything...reasonably priced of cos...went shopping with my sis at bugis...cudve ketok my sis for 2-3 items...but theres nthing i really wanted there...frm freshbox to topshop to muji...nth....pretty every shop at seiyu...all i noe is i want nice brown and black pants...found a decent looking brown corduroy?? jeans..abit like copper...thats it...decided to get shoes as my bday present...but thought of looking for it some other time since i dun really have any shoe in mind...and my sis's fren who has been following me while i shop like a retard...shes prolly tired since they were shopping b4 i came...2nd time this happened...oh well..theres just some things money cant buy...(nice one la fi...so wise...power la -_-)

talked to my sis on the way home abt my future in TP...which is not looking very bright with the fucking ICA project pulling my balls...told her abt the situation regarding my java and all that crap...just so she wont be like wtf?! when i told her i dropped out...kept telling me to ask the teacher when i have problems n all that stuff...wish it was that easy...told her abt proj3 thing...the train came...were not seating together...i put on a seriously looking corcerned face while on the train...just to show her that im seriusly corcerned abt my future....really...i am...got off the train n took the bus home...she ask me to send her the java quesntion paper...so she can ask her IT fren whether he can do...LOL...

M.S.L.D

2006-01-16T00:36:00.000+08:00

chances slips away before they're realised

M.S.L.D

2006-01-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

dammit man...another one?! no chance for me man liddat...back to work...after watching bleach tho...hehe...

knnbpcbljccb

:)

2006-01-09T20:17:00.000+08:00

ahh...the friendster.com "top network searches" nvr fails to crack me up....i love em...haha...search of the day: seluar tertanggal....fucking idiots...just type porn can liao mah...

>.<

2006-01-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

tried reading for a change instead of games...just for the heck of it...took 1 of my sis's novels...picked a more "manly" title...some conspiracy thriller shit...gave up after like 10pages thru it...like so many characters to remember...it'd be fine if they had pictures n stuff..i was like..."which one is steve?was it the goverment dude...or is he some other guy"...the characters had jobs with fancy2 names...and some of their names also fancy abit...books are stooopid...atleast give like an ppendix page for fucks sake

stop

2006-01-04T21:58:00.000+08:00

stop givin me hope dammit!

2006....wee -_-

2005-12-31T15:34:00.000+08:00

aight....its time for the new yr's resolution crap...all i want for now is just to pass ICA and stay in school...no more sad2 moodless times...be a better muslim...better son...better fren?am i a gd fren?k lets not push it....

my perangai of the year...i guess its that thing...for those who noe u noe...those who dunno u dont wanna noe...

And Love Said No

2005-12-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

ahhh....yes...finally...hopefully...the sentosa outing will happen...spent alot alredy during the holidays...20+ after going escape today...ppl are looking for money in the holidays n im spending money...well...its been a bad month...months...depressing month...haiz...just wanna enjoy can...yeayeah i know all of u got ur bad moments yet u cant enjoy...but watever la...call me immature irresponsible watever u all want ah...

dont mistake the present for the future

miss ...

2005-12-26T08:18:00.000+08:00

think of happy thoughts...
think of happy thoughts...
think of happy thoughts...

nope...still nothing happy to blog abt..

miserable

2005-12-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

just one of those days lying under the tree hoping that a squirrel will drop from the tree and talk to you...ppl rarely talk to me nowadays...maybe its me...i dunno...
hit my head while trying to have a seat on the bus...not painful just that it gave me a headache for the rest of the day...3hrs at the reservoir alone...supposedly clearing my mind...and studying for the ICA paper...which sux* btw...

*= tk tau buat...dunno if i noe...dunno if i dunno

...

2005-12-20T19:15:00.000+08:00

if tts wat ur trying to do...ur doing a gd job

zzz....

2005-12-15T20:30:00.000+08:00

its that time of the year again....noo...not christmas...term tests...yeah...this is yet another one of those "I HATE EXAMS N ruhaifi is handsome POST"...all quizzes fucked up...4/20 for wireless tech...my life is falling apart bit by bit...all ive got is school(i noe...pathetic)...and if i dropped out...really dont noe wat to do...nothing to live for...all i see in my future is taking care of my parents and stuff...hopefully...if they're still alive....cant help but think abt death when u have a heavy smoking dad in his 60s and an overworked mom in her 50s...n im not making it any easier on her...for example right now...there are 2 empty yakult bottles full of cig ash...almost a week old....some biscuit wrappers,butter...since yesterday...and that is only on my computer table...

moving on....hmmm...i kinda sidetracked frm wat i wanted to blog abt...but nvm...next is...will i ever get married?! doesnt look promising...but...theres hope...i guess...like my parents...my mom lost her mom at abt 4yrs old...this is the same story i heard every yr on hari raya when we visit my mom's stepdad's hse...but i still dont quite get it...like wtf was my mom's dad doing then..all i noe is he wasnt there...tk salah dia pegi haji..u noe in those days ppl travel on a boat...chances of em coming back quite low...im still quite blur la abt it...all i remembered was that somehow my mom ended up on a boat...crying...with her siblings....and her neighbour(now stepdad n also works on that ship...i think)...i think...saw them...and took care of them frm that day on...guess how old her stepdad was then...19 !!!!!!! imagine suddenly being a father of 3 when ur only 19...hero la he...i think at first he only could take 2...my uncle and aunt...but then cudnt bear to leave my mom who cant stop crying
As for my dad...i dont noe wats his story...but i heard he was in the exact same situation as my mom was....and somehow they both end up together...hmmm..

if yall didnt noe me u wud probably think this is girl's blog...i noe...i need to study...i need ppl to study with...cant study at home la fuck...i want to study

A Plague Upon Your Hissing

2005-12-07T17:37:00.000+08:00

I've been
Sewing the wounds
But the seeds sprout
A lachrymal cloud
sutured contusion
beyond the anthills of the dawning of this plague
said I've lost my way
even if this cul de sac did pay
to reach inside a vault whatever be the cost

The vermin you need to loathe
I'm not the percent you think survives
I need sanctuary in the pages of this book

hmm

2005-11-24T03:28:00.000+08:00

3:20am: waiting for soccer to start
3:21am: theres a "london bridge is falling down" tune coming from downstairs...the kindof tune that comes out of an ice cream truck...yea...scary...
3:30am: the tune is still playing...shud i look out the window?

lame! pukol dia !!

2005-11-22T21:14:00.000+08:00

Yo! Are you creative, pretty and own a keyboard? How would you like to become a staff member of my blog? ;) Now, don't get to excited, nothing adminly or modly (that would be pointless for this line of work), but equally as cool in my opinion.All u have to do is tag once in a while.orh kay?

diam ah...aku copy aku nye pasal ah

fifafu

2005-11-17T22:58:00.000+08:00

yayness...it rained today...get to wear my warm sweater....unlike someone who spent most of the day freezing....haha! k i wudve given my sweater but the top im wearing inside is kinda small...shudnt have took the m-size....n the "fifafoo" thingy...wats up with them sia...wtf so funny...retards...u all shudve change class instead of me...jk!

i look so gelap in the raya pics...mcm tambi...argh...had to edit all em to post on frenster...gtg

bleah

2005-11-15T23:56:00.000+08:00

pls let there be rain tmr...so i can wear my sweater n not worry abt wat shirt to wear....

FUCK

2005-11-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

FUCK TP!
-disgruntled student

waddaya noe

2005-10-22T19:21:00.000+08:00

it seems that ive got...fired...heh...just when i thought things cudnt get any worse when i fell down in the rain outside the hotel after taking my pay...eh u noe wat...the day i went to collect my pay...the hotel had some of their staffs playing drums n dressing up as a clown n shit at the staff entrance to greet them and hand out some flyers....its almost like they are celebrating my last day working at the hotel...kinda funny now when i think back...but im still fucking pissed! i did like 10 push ups yesterday to prepare myself in case there work next week u noe...haha...k wasnt much...then today my fren told me my name isnt on the roster anymore which prolly means they dont want me anymore cuz im a weakling...my life's a fucking mess...failed java...yes i noe u noe but fuck it...no job,no girl,even feel like i have no friends...real friend...mayb im to blame for that...i noe u shud like appreciate all this since i dont have like a fucking ceiling drop down on my head like those earthquake victims...and its ramadhan and all...but hell...fuck it! i hate it!@!$#@$%@#%@#$!$ this is bullshit! rubbish! nonsense! gtg gosok my dad's baju...i'll fuck ya all later again if i havent kill myself

tak tahan lagi

2005-10-08T09:18:00.000+08:00

not gonna work anymore while fasting...i wanna fast the whole month...but everytime i work im tempted to have a drink...barely resisted the temptation yesterday...another reason i wanna stop working is cuz i feel more like a hindrance rather than helping for the past wk ive worked...and with my low stamina i get tired easily...duh...just feel like i dont deserve all that money...which hopefully will come...like its like my frens money lar...like they do more work..i do less...all get equal $$...still havent called shangri la hotel to tell em i dont wanna work anymore...haiz...thats all lah...adi...din...for the last time..."GODSPEED~!!"....haha

why...

2005-09-27T01:31:00.001+08:00

wah nnbpcb! type the post long2 then its gone...i'll cut it short this time
1. 3-4 jobs over 2 days with 5hrs sleep
2. got a job as housmen at shangri la orchard
3. not looking forward to working with ppl i dunno...dun think i can handle...without machoman adi and workhorse din (<---din tengok! kuda....hahahaha)
4. bought a cap...wont have to keep wearin the brown one
5. waste time at town 8am-10pm after the interview....mendak most of the time...got better at night ;p delicious~!
6. miss school...miss you....not looking forward to joining difrent classes @$@#%#$^#$^
7. OH! caught jackson and eileen holding hands walking ard town! hahahahaha! blardy bitches keep denying they have anytin goin on when i disturb them last time.eileen stop holding his hands when she saw us! haha! dah lambat lah misai!
8.nyt...zZzZZz

why...

2005-09-27T01:31:00.000+08:00

-_-

2005-09-18T18:44:00.000+08:00

appointment with dissapointment...get my hopes up for shit to happen again n again...haiz...need a you-rehab...wat a fucking boring day...atleast theres soccer...Liverpool vs Man utd...hope pool wins n give me a reason to smile today

wedding

2005-09-11T19:03:00.000+08:00

heres some photos of my sisters wedding if yall wanna see...its like 2mb each so im kinda lazy to upload alot...so heres a couple...i'll add if i feel like it..

1 of my favourite aunts...very creative at turning junks into beautiful decorative stuffs...a great cook...wif my pwetie pwetie sis,yna n azmie...

close cuzins n brothers...notice the bloated dude on the left...that wudve been our 5th band member if the band still existed...haha...he looks damn stoned...got so fat in such a short time...oh...i paid 80 bux for that hairdo of mine -_- the one sitting beside the groom is my uncle...sebok je nk selit

well this is my family...from left yasir..eldest,oyah,abah,azmie(groom),yna(bride),me,umi,maize,ammar

uncle salim's family...anabelle lookin hot...the pic makes her look funny though...oh well...pretty in person

sian

2005-09-10T20:59:00.000+08:00

failed java...bye bye class...hello china n china blacks....fuck NgCL...go eat banana lah cb!! to those that helped me in my ICA...sorry to have wasted ur efforts...my fault...totally...appreciate it alot...shud i screw supp n repeat?

left out..clueless...oblivious

dreaming

2005-09-06T07:11:00.000+08:00

just woke up from this stupid meaningless dream...didnt really remember which event took place first...but nvm...it wudnt have made any sense...

The day started when i look at the mirror and realised.."i have crappy hair!"...so off i went to look for a toilet to do my hair...i think i was like uber pissed that time...on e way looking for a toilet...i was walking alongside some guy who kept bumping into me dunno for wat fuck...i didnt care or borthered to look who was that...i was bz smsing someone...yeah...dunno for wat fuck also...wtf wanna hear me whine abt my shitty hair...anyway...the guy was still bumpin and i cudnt take it anymore so chased him...he ran...like.. knn act like some cb ahbeng...i looked up at him and took 1 step forward he cabot liao...somehow...i am at this huge place...which prolly i was thinking is a toilet...a public toilet with washing machines...yeah...that stupid...at that point,the question of why there is a huge washing machine havent popped in my head yet...even though i realised theres a washing machine...but nvm...theres a mirror in that place so i went to fix my hair...its still shitty...i saw someone at the other end of the "toilet" with "cool hair"...so i thought to myself...maybe its his wax that does the trick...off i go towards him...reach there...popped my head in the washing infront of him...sniff sniff...dunno for wat fuck...looked at the bottom of the washing machine and see some underwear that was just washed...and i was still sniffing dunno for wat fuck....finally,i realised asked myself "why am i smelling other ppls undies and with that guy with the cool hair is still behind me while i was sniffin n shit?"...so i took my head out the washing machine n walk towards the exit like nothing happened...just i was about to open the door to get out...one old smart...mafia like old man entered...he was staring out the window(yes...theres a huge ass window in the toilet)...i was like.."eh knn...even old man got better hair than me"...just as i was about to leave...the old man,without turning back...handed me 2 tubes of stuff...at first i thought it must be some magical hair gel or sumtin...but instead...he gave me face wash...like wtf...but then i thought...mayb thats the secret!...the old man then turned...point his finger at his palm...signalling to me to put some of the face wash on my palm...the old man then sit beside me...looked at me and asked me to put the face wash at his taik-mata tainted eyes...somehow i didnt find that weird either...the dream ended as i was putting that stuff on his eyes...thank god...

ehem

2005-08-29T13:04:00.000+08:00

since everyone seems to be blogging ermmm...abt wat im abt to say...i also follow

abidin: thank you for helping in my java...harap2 aku pass ah...and...mcm2 lagi...mintak maaf klu aku ada offend ko ngan aku nye "jokes"...main2 je ah...klu bukan ko siapa lagi yg ada kan...gi potong rambot ko....jealous aku tengok..

adi:tanpa kau skolah mendak...siapa lagi yg nk ikot aku gi spy...thank u for ur support...tdo kat resvr...tdo kat mana2...without u aku pandai...haha...klu ko tk hensem aku pun tk hensem...siapa lagi nk ckp aku handsem...gi blaja lah pantat...nanti next sem tk sama class :( awww

nurul:hmm....apa eh...i'll start with quarter-yearly apology about making fun of ur feet...err...no offence..ko ni pompan..bukan laki....you've left footprints in my heart...haha...cudnt resist...times spent with you,adi and din...at the bubble tea or watever has been the best time in my poly life..wat else is there in poly -_- tkmo nangis suma...tanpa kegilaan kau...it wud sux...hope we all will be in the same class next sem....all the best yall for the exams.

rui lin: you very OVER girl...when laugh also over....tend to overreact in err...all situations...for more info on her...read my award-winning "Most Dramatic Testi" i gave her...haha

eileen:misai thank you for ur support in my ROSW "quest"

michelle:thank you for ur help in my java...sorry if i didnt put in enuff effort for TCS

chun yun:thank you for ur testimonials...haha and for the opportunity to **shing** you...someone enjoyable to annoy

jackson:noisy bitch! this guy damn gd in soccer...like me when i was younger -_- a fellow liverpool fan..k thats all...someone fun to have in ur class

jon:u balls kecik ah...haha...remember to tell me when u go fight that kuniang...this guy is similar to me in some ways

rayner:great guy to have in ur class...quite daring and outgoing...power sia u that time go in shareen's class pretending to be i-hub ppl...haha

eh fucking tired liao...continue some other time

T_T

2005-08-18T12:49:00.000+08:00

too late...as always

pain

2005-08-17T14:52:00.000+08:00

pain...heart pain....pain...

ref2

2005-08-13T22:33:00.000+08:00

       HANYA SEGENGGAM SETIA  

Lepaskanlah genggaman tanganmu 
Pergilah dia menantimu 
Jangan menangis... 
Janganlah kau menolehku lagi 
Biarlah ku membawa hati 
Jangan ditanya ke mana ku pergi

Tidakkah engkau sedar siapa diriku ini 
Bukan merak kayangan tapi gagak di rimba 
Cuma yang ada segenggam setia 
Akan ku pertahankan untuk membahagiakan mu 

Masih lagi aku terasa  
Betapa hancurnya hati ku 
Bila kau dipaksa bersama 
Dengan si dia... 
Senyuman yang engkau ukirkan  
Seakan mengundang sengsara 
Kalau ku tahu kau tersiksa 
Tak kan ku lepaskan mu 

Setelah kau tiada di sisi 
Bagiku tiada cinta lagi selamanya 
Di bibir ku lafazkan rela 
Di hati terasa pedihnya melepaskan mu 
Pilu hatiku...pilu hatiku..

reference

2005-08-13T22:29:00.000+08:00

Siapa Di Hatimu

Terasa bagai ditusuk sembilu bisa
Pedihnya entah bila akan terhenti
Berkasih di rimba asmara berapi
Terbakar hanya ku sendiri
Oh mengapa?...

Kemana hilang janji dan sumpah setia
Kemana tumpah selaut harum kasturi
Apakah mungkin kan terulang kembali
Asyiknya cinta bagai dulu?
Atau serapuhnya mimpi yang pulang pagi?

Semakin ingin aku lupakan
Dan semakin bayang wajahmu kan menjelma
Dimana kah puncanya derita
Ku sendiri tidak pasti, sayang.

Siapa merebut seri cinta
Waktu aku buka jendela
Dikeheningan pagi indah

Siapa sejambak mawar merah
Harum dikamar hatimu
Hingga diriku disingkirkan

Redup senja dikaki malam
Menghilangkan warnai lalang
Dan cinta kini bagaikan berkasihan mimpi

god help me

2005-07-22T22:14:00.000+08:00

getting harder and harder to just look but do nothing

defected

2005-07-14T19:04:00.000+08:00

Do you recall it's name
As it suggested beck and call
This face and heel
Will drag your halo through the mud
Ash of Pompeii
Erupting in a statues dust
Shrouded in veils
Because these handcuffs hurt to much
Still scalpeing these ticketless applause
And when they drag the lake there is nothing left at all
sutured contusion
beyond the anthills of the dawning of this plague
said I've lost my way
even if this cul de sac would pay
to reach inside a vault whatever be the cost
sterling clear
blackend ice
when they drag the lake there's nothing left at all

I've defected

sutuerd contusion
beyond the anthills of the dawning of this plague
said I've lost my way
even if this cul de sac did pay
to reach inside a vault whatever be the cost
sterling clear
blackend ice
when they drag the lake theres nothing left at all

I've defected

beyond the anthills of the dawning of this plague
said I've lost my way
even if this cul de sac did pay
beyond the anthills of said I've lost my way
even if you reach inside a vault whatever be the cost
sterling clear
blackend ice
when they drag the lake there's nothing left at all

this is my last insicion
the stitches have defected
drag me a vessel
coveting all you know see and hear
this is my last incision
the stitches have fallen off
Sterling clear blackened ice
And when they drag they lake theres nothing left at all

I've defected

not a very happy blog

asdf

2005-07-09T19:57:00.000+08:00

i love u

seram

2005-07-07T14:53:00.000+08:00

I dream about, how it's going to end,
Approaching me quickly,
Leaving a life of fear,
I only want my mind to be clear,
People, making fun of me,
For no reason but jealousy,
I fantasise about my death,
I'll kill myself from holding my breath,

My suicidal dream,
Voices telling me what to do,
My suicidal dream,
I'm sure you will get yours too,

Help me, comfort me,
Stop me from feeling what I'm feeling now,
The rope is here,
Now I'll find a use,
I'll kill myself,
I'll put my head in a noose,

My suicidal dream,
Voices telling me what to do,
My suicidal dream,
I'm sure you will get yours too,

Dreamin' about my death, dream,
Suicidal, suicidal, suicidal dream,
I'm suicidal,
Suicidal dream

seram eh...

bleh

2005-07-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

to my imaginary frens that reads my blog: sry for the late updating of my blog...no mood...pls wait

Downloading update (99.9% Completed)

something for u to read while anticipating the great update:afasf;weofjwe;fhdksgfndsk;fdsfjsdlkfjsdlf;sdfjsdklf;sdflk

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

2005-06-27T21:17:00.000+08:00

im fucking stupid....really really fucking stupid.....

sad

2005-06-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

one day this chalk outline will circle the city

sianzation

2005-06-12T13:13:00.000+08:00

Miranda That Ghost Just Isn't Holy Anymore
I’ve always wanted
To eat glass with you again
But I never knew how
How to talk without
Walls dropping on the eve
The nest they made couldn’t break you
Along the fallen
Scowled a fence of beaks
But the temple is scathing
Through your veins
They were scaling
Through an ice pick of abcess rekoning
And when Miranda sang
Everyone turned away
Used to the noose they obey
And whoever said that they would scatter
Separating the mother from child
She can bat a broken eyelid
Raining maggots from it’s sty
And with the traces that she leaves
She will skin you out alive
All the children go grinding their jaws
The sweet smell of their toothless canals
And the damn she will break, make an ocean from this lake
As they siphon off all of our blood
And when Miranda sang
Everyone turned away
Used to the noose the obey

hoorah

2005-06-12T11:26:00.000+08:00

f404 IFC street soccer champions again! yay ! got lots of cca points for this yr! another saturday spent under the fucking hot sun...nice competetion...enjoyed the fights n arguments more than the gama...haha...so much drama...a referee quit after being scolded by both sides haha...and that bitch waved his middle finger when we ask him to come back...most of the arguments caused by bad refereeing...referee nvr give foul so they all play busuk...not for my team though...all of our games are friendly...no fights...the only one in the team who is a little busuk is ivan...the 25 yr oldman...caused 2 guys to get injured...haha....but he surprisingly top scorer la...basket...didnt even noe he cud play soccer.i only got 1 goal...damn...too kancheong arh...its been awhile since i play soccer competetively.spent most of the time warming the bench...not that it really needs to be warmed with the fucking hot sun there...but ok la...fun to watch also...and with that auntie ard...it wasnt so bad...ok la...atleast get cca points.thx to jackson n ivan mostly

-.-

2005-06-09T21:02:00.000+08:00

used or not...for wat its worth...i dun care

the taller they are...the further they fall

2005-06-09T10:05:00.000+08:00

ZzZZzzZZz.....being tall sux de...wats the point of being tall when everyone ard u is shorter...esp girls...no fucking advantage at all

anyway was quite a gd day...the only thing that spoilt the day was the java presentation.fuck!cant get an extension for the deadline...the program was fucked...part of it that works was not wat the question wants...didnt do exactly what was needed of the program...in other words wrong lah...nothing was right....even the presentation kinda sucked...not to forget that we havent hand in the hard copy of the program which we r supposed to hand in by today...no point handing it up today anyway...dunno how to do it and even if we do it...its probably wrong...

special thx to abidin n michelle for their help in the assignment which me n adi r supposed to do but end up doing 0.5% of it.and vote for michelle for president!i forgot president of wat ah...juz vote can?

but not all is bad today...most of it were gd...quite alot of laughs...n finally...get to meet up with nufail....yay...and finally met fera!...that bitch go n run to hug nufail but nvr hug me...basket...and all i did was say hi n waved...not even sure if i said hi...haiz..everytime lost for words ard gurls...even when nufail was 1m away frm me at the library i was too much of a sissy to talk to her....anyway thank u for ur time at the reservoir hor...

gay!

2005-06-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

today is a damn gay day.....wtf did i sign up for the capt ball compy...fucking hot day...sweat sweat sweat...wen wen wen wen....headaches...wen wen wen wen....lost to freshies ugh...the shame...din kedi...broke the cig i saved for like a week...DAH BODOH?DAH BODOH?...stinky...didnt bath after that...luckily got hugoboss ketiak roller...jimmy shud get one...haha...oops...went to TM for lunch...well the rest of them did...i n bigfoot only got squid fritters n curry puff frm old chang kee after accompanying rayner eat at the foodcourt..so fucking strict on his diet now...ok la..cukup muai...eat up our food...bigfoot got rejected 3 times...then she went home...i went to sanj hse hoping to have sheesha..he ran out of charcoal..too bad..nvm...he gave me 1 pack of hand rolling tobacco...so gd...haha

mooo

2005-06-03T05:22:00.000+08:00

short day in sch today....went for lab class which lasted ard 1 hr....cabot the next 2 lectures...we yr 2 students can do that...u freshies stay in class...bitches.....chill at the reservoir with china and china black...juz got to noe them a lil bit more dis sem...the pondok jagas...keeping the pondok freshie-free...argh...dis is so boring to type...i wanted to pass the time till the dl was finished...eh...wtf...dl speed dropped by half....cheebyeee.....also skipped the 5 oclock lecture...stupid timetable...gave us 5hr break to wait for a pointless,stupid lecture....but luckily...we yr 2 students have some rights unlike the freshie to skip classes...hmm...kinda getting bored typing "yr 2 students" again n again...a name shud be created for us...i shall brg up this topic in the pondok council tmr...i need new clothes...but so lazy to buy...who want follow me...anyone..anyone...i hate my hair...makes me feel like going botak...but going botak makes me hate my ears...go figure...woah...i sound like a girl writing all this...

bleah

2005-05-30T21:59:00.000+08:00

ended up going to sch today since i thought that the 3hr lab session was gonna be important...the lesson ended after juz one hr...wat a waste of time...then go library waste sommore time...then decided to go home...was changing buses near tm...then my fren called...she got like 2 free hrs before her lecture...so went to accompany her since i had to give her sumtin...so back i go to school! wee! mcm budak tkda keje lain.waiting for the bus sucked.reach there...waited for like 15mins for her to call back...cant use her hp...very the troublesome....she called...tell me to wait there...i waited for like 20mins...not knowing that all the while she was waiting for me...idiot...ur fault la pantat! reminds me of some japanese movie that i dont want to remember...chill at the reservoir till 6....went home...waited for like an 1hr for the bus to come...the earlier bus was full...blardy gay...i hate waiting! makes me bitch abt it like a girl and force me to make this blog! ok that was an excuse...

pyrexia

2005-05-30T10:26:00.000+08:00

pyrexia

skippin school today.Had a slight fever after "sheesha"ing at Sanjeev's place.those things just leaves u breathless....u suck n u suck...lack of oxygen going to the brain...so pardon me for being stupid or kuku the past few days....but it was all gd la...had fun chatting and stuff.havent seen him in awhile.shud do this every weekend.thx for the tobacco n sheesha man...wtf am i writing this...is not like he reads my blog....oh well....gd weekend lah...needed to get my mind off some things...did sumtin stupid to my fren a few days back...irrepairable dmg...like a tattoo dat cant be removed...

the widow

2005-05-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

The Widow

He’s got fasting black lungs
Made of clove splintered shardes
They’re the kind that will talk
Through a weezing of coughs
And I hear him every night
In every pore
And every time he just makes me warm
Freeze without an answer
Free from all the shame
Must I hide
Cuz I’ll never never sleep alone
Look at how they flock to him
From an isle of open sores
He knows that the taste is such
Such to die for
And I hear him every night
On every street
The scales that do slither
Deliver me from…
Freeze without an answer
Free from all the shame
Then I’ll hide cuz i’ll never never sleep alone
Oh lord
Said I’m bloodshot for sure
Pale runs the ghost
Swollen on the shore
everynight
in every pore
The scales that do slither
Deliver me from…
Freeze without an answer
Free from all the shame
Then I’ll hide
Cuz I’ll never never sleep alone

idiots

2005-05-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

GOOD DOG! thank you for visiting

heh

2005-03-03T23:35:00.000+08:00

eeewww.....im blogging